Welcome to my blog. I respond to Angela. This is a blog that is probably never genuinely happy and a tad deep...but read on.
|
posted : Tuesday, May 3, 2011
title : Perfect? Far from it.
 Sometimes I feel so confused with myself. I have this seemingly perfect life, I go to a private school, I have the things I want, I live in an amazing house and I'm happy right? Wrong. Because beneath the façade of this perfect life cracks are starting to appear. The questions that I had never wanted to acknowledge have shown themselves at last. I sometimes don’t know whether I'm supposed to be happy or sad, whether I'm suppose to feel joyful or depressed. I just don’t know any more. When I don't know what to feel I laugh hard as if it would cover up the raging battle going on inside me. What happens you begin to scare yourself, when the shadow inside you is breaking free at last? What happens when the things you once stood for are the ones you turn your back against? Depressing right? BAH! I guess everyone has their moments. Just then I was talking to this guy and he asked me " Angela I don't get how you can get depressed. Ur life is pretty simple" Honestly! I felt like reaching through the computer screen and punching him HARD in the face. [9:02:39 PM] < boy >: about how ur life sucks? [9:02:53 PM] < boy >: how DOES a person like u [9:03:00 PM] < boy >: get depressed [9:03:03 PM] < boy >: i dont get it [9:03:35 PM] <3 Angelxcai: Why dont you get it? [9:03:55 PM] <3 Angelxcai: Everyone has their problems [9:03:57 PM] < boy >: ur life is pretty simple [9:04:04 PM] < boy >: u dont get guy problems [9:04:14 PM] < boy >: thats usually wat teenage girls get [9:04:26 PM] < boy >: u have a stable family[9:04:26 PM] <3 Angelxcai: Trust me i wouldnt let a guy get me depressed [9:04:31 PM] < boy >: and ur wealthy Today I had this massive laughing spaz in the cafe when we were having lunch. I don't know what overcame me but suddenly everything seemed so hilarious. Then I try to stop laughing and I look up to see everyone looking at me like I was crazy. :( hehe maybe I creeped them out a little. Meh! I got myself so worked up for my English speech today only to find that the speech teacher had been double booked so my speech was changed to next Wednesday. Now I have to go through tension and nerves AGAIN! |
A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face~
